Long Story; Short Pier.

Critical Apprehensions & Intemperate Discourses

Kip Manley, proprietor

The People’s Joker.

More than a feeling.

Ithell Colquhoun.

Kirk’s shirt.

Bushwick.

January, 2025

To be or become light, shine, to be illuminated, to become lighted up, to give light, shine, to illumine, light up, to kindle, to make shine (of the face) Eikositriophobia

December, 2024

How it’s going

November, 2024

(still) Bringing blogging back

October, 2024

Crass commercialism Rossumovi divoci roboti I made another thing Promotion

June, 2024

The people want only their due

May, 2024

Bookkeeping Wealth management

March, 2024

Foreword

February, 2024

Three little words These six things doth the LORD hate, yea, seven are an abomination unto Him

January, 2024

The 22nd anniversary; the 25th most abundant element Hiaters

December, 2023

Out, and in, and old, and new

February, 2023

Which side you are on What is told you three times is true & yet Even the bull puts in some effort

January, 2023

Power in power is power in power Mere strokes, interposed by a copyist You know what it takes to blog? Kinematograph

December, 2022

The capitalists shall sell us the rope with which we will hang them Hydriotaphia A good reality will parry the blow The cause is you, Mr. and Mrs. Yesterday, you, with your forked tongues There can be only one—and yet If the basilisk sees its reflection within 30 ft. of it in bright light, it mistakes itself for a rival and targets itself with its gaze Good citizens are the riches of a city

November, 2022

Six hundred thousand words and counting In Memison, one must try the fish How it started; How it’s going (The ratchet) Meanwhile, in fascist Twitter I mean the matter that you read, my lord

July, 2022

That mighty wall between us, standing high

June, 2022

Updating

January, 2022

INT. HEADSPACE. DAY. Fine china

November, 2021

GO—MOVE—SHIFT Pontypool variations A clay envelope or hollow ball, typically with seal impressions or writing on its outside indicating its contents

March, 2021

Civitas Aurelianorum A prose narrative of some length that has something wrong with it The fingers in your glove In which, knowing nothing of necromancy

February, 2021

Sounding brass; tinkling cymbal #HarshWritingAdvice We interrupt this narrowcast A Song of Graphs and Quants

January, 2021

Smothered Abaugurate Glad that’s sorted The greatest trick the devil ever pulled A frozen peach of Serendip Inter os atque offam Hey, nineteen Ornament is not only produced by criminals, it itself commits a crime Consequences All Cops Are Bigoted/Bootlicking/Bastards Begin as you mean to go on

December, 2020

20/20 hindsight Like tears in rain Rain is falling, here in Portland in the palaces of Kings, in the drawing-rooms and boudoirs of certain cities Fully automated hauntology Half a million words

November, 2020

Don dances in the wet street Failsons & November criminals

September, 2020

Two-score and a dozen years ago When the operation of the machine becomes so odious Our Americans Loudly with the quiet part Ecophage

August, 2020

La même chose Regrets, I've had a few The visible world is merely their skin Manichæan Move fast; break things As the cult hit turns 10 More numbers Grimly rarebit Farm team Go. Move. Shift A leopard’s spots

July, 2020

Ineluctable Our crisis is a brand Messrs. Underhill Lownsdale Chapman Square Some additional context Always already again, again Sapir-Whorffery Speaking of self-publishing A perspective of privilege Meanwhile And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains Things fall apart

June, 2020

Each small annexment, petty consequence, attends the boist’rous ruin #HasMayorKrewsonLandedYet Bug inkling Even-the-liberal For, indeed, the watch ought to offend no one, and it is an offence to stay anyone against their will

May, 2020

Notes from the day job

April, 2020

Defiance! That gum you like is going to come back in style Two of Swords (reversed) Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton

March, 2020

Capitalism! Capitalism! Capitalism! Look on his works, ye mighty Read all you want; we’ll make more Capitalism! And on the pedestal these words appear Caring responsibly Everybody is paying attention Threefold this Capitalism! Capitalism! Aw, shucks A journal of the urn burial A paradise paved in a parking lot Bitter truths are bitter Sufficient unto the day To the right, ever to the right! Never to the left, forever to the right! The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed Who said the working folks were scum? That we were tramps and on the bum? And that he had us on the run? A mere electric animal, and me earning all that I’ve worked my way up to through the years Cancel your subscription If anyone would know

February, 2020

Gods are made, not born The (eventual) persistence of memory Yo dawg I herd you like Snyder cuts so we put a Snyder cut in your Snyder cut so you can sex while you death Folie à hirsute “If we have lost our faith in them, we have also lost our fear of them” Reëducatable Idaho Purchase How to be Gibson No cape! Existing in grids and swerves Vincent Adultman by a nose January, February, March, April, May, I'm alive... Which side are you on, folks? Which side are you on? In much the same way bricks don't Scenes from the always-emerging class struggle An especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors Cæsar’s wife : Trump’s DOJ :: reproach : ? In the reign of good Queen Dick Cartographic spoiler If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come You didn’t, Rusty Aviso de inspección de equipaje Apotheodicy It’s funny If a man’s career is going to be ruined

January, 2020

Fake news The way things work today Punk’d The problem with bringing back blogs is Unfinished Business Where’s my elephant? Disposable Free as in just fuckin around reformacons, blood-and-soilers, curious liberal nationalists, ‘Austrians,’ repentant neocons, evangelical Christians, corporate raiders, cattle ranchers, Silicon Valley dissidents, Buckleyites, Straussians, Orthodox Jews, Catholics, Mormons, Tories The cruelty is the only point A better solution to the problem Painstakingly æstheticized chisme Quinnipiac in retrograde “—I pray you, as I pronounced it to you, trippingly—” Tripping the light “The triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure” On the one hand; on the other Freeze, peach! It is easier to clean the kitchen if you keep the kitchen clean Message: I care Comforts th’ comfortable; afflicts th’ afflicted Okay, I don’t understand what this is. There’s a big-wheel truck, there’s a bad guy, there’s a doctor in a mini-dress, and there are bouncers Having the right to play Oof “The law, in its majestic equality—” The catfish kept them fresh There ain't no such thing as a backyard leftist “—que combina Realismo Mágico con Prosa Gonzo Noir—” Adventures in Ego-surfing One-dimensional chess A bad memory of policing in this country “It doesn’t matter that we started it.” Your tongue is no one else's tongue Terrifyingly serious, casually bigoted, deliberately absurd High turnover, low inventory, mostly cash Devoted to Doers and Doings He said, he said The strengths of prose But then she noticed the same purse on the arms of a few acquaintances. And then she started to see it out in the wild. Eventually, she started to realize that the other people who were carrying the purse were vaguely similar to her Filed 5,016 days ago Resolution The war that will end war Rise of Something-or-other Sed quis non custodiet ipsos custodes?

December, 2019

Retrospectacular! Minimally viable product (Easy money at the ketchup factory) Fuck death This storm is what we call progress

November, 2019

Regret, by definition What I tell you three times is true

April, 2019

30 Offensively impeachable

March, 2019

Catastrophic injury and sudden death have been known to occur Mister Blue Sky, please tell us why A moment of your time It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single person in possession of a billion dollars must be in want of dismantlement Just wrestle me

February, 2019

“This was back in 1945” City of such Roses 36 pages; color cover; three staples, each What a week, huh?

January, 2019

Beeep [ insert some sort of multiple face-palm gif, or maybe the one with Nathan Fillion, and his hands ] Crœsus he ain’t Help desk Going to eleven Which side are you on? Essence Domesticity, with cats It’s getting odd out there To yelp, or not to yelp Bhat kachang

December, 2018

2018’s over, if you want it “Yeah, where do you even live?” I think that just about covers it

November, 2018

A new world Remember, remember

October, 2018

Go, read

September, 2018

#notallC.A.B.

August, 2018

You an’ me both, kid Filled from crown to toe-top full of direst cruelty Why do you rob banks, Willie? A gifted mimic, he nonetheless eschew[ed] regional accents for comic effect The worth of dirt Burned all my pronouns, what good are pronouns Punchy, anyway A.C.A.B. I know, I know, the blockchain #walkingaway

May, 2018

the Diaghilev de nos jours

February, 2018

Definitions of distinction

January, 2018

Light

August, 2017

Altogether elsewhere, vast

July, 2016

Go, move, shift Ten years of roses

April, 2016

I am, occasionally, quite mean Pellucid limpidity

March, 2016

Wurstfabrik Madeleine nabobs

January, 2016

Interpellation

December, 2015

What I did in the year just past

October, 2015

Rising to fall (Something-or-other) Fighting too long against

September, 2015

Teleological bees Like a good neighbor A bricoleur’s dam’ At the late-night double-feature picture show Download kip manley or read online here in PDF or EPUB The process, however, can be reversed at any time Triskele Outside voice Inside baseball

August, 2015

Diseffected Tune-up Falling will fall, fell A footnote, regarding beards That's no moon Done did read Off the pier Reading into Phantasia

March, 2015

Description as prescription

February, 2015

Cross-platform synergistic foofooraw. Forever in Schrafft's Something something haste, something something leisure

January, 2015

Numbers First thing we do, let’s make sure the Author is dead Encliticore There was only one catch Sighting; Thickening; Revel and Aftermath Up with the in with the

December, 2014

Adjust your awards nominations accordingly

September, 2014

322,990 words, give or take

August, 2014

Ferguson’s rede That time I went to the place and did the thing

July, 2014

“Is it safe.”

April, 2014

Previously, on— Knowing what I don't

March, 2014

That first brontolithic beat

February, 2014

No less than a kingdom

January, 2014

That drama place A sure sign of honesty and integrity Damn skippy “This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.” Go, and do thou likewise There were still a number of these little fragments of glass floating about in the air, and now you shall hear what happened with one of them Mr. Waturi’s lament (2014 remix) Blogging's dead 2014, everybody

October, 2013

Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice: what I tell you three times is true

February, 2013

With all due apologies to D’Invilliers, and Fitzgerald, except the ones set aside for Kyle Baker, and of course for you, Dear Reader

January, 2013

#nodads

December, 2012

Revolution no. 80

October, 2012

Submitted for your approval Progrestasis

September, 2012

Strong female characters

July, 2012

Pareidolic purple car An elegantly modest proposal That mighty crash? The Overton window just fell off the dextral end of the discourse

May, 2012

Clews Black hearts and coronets Homiletic truths hard-won through too much wasted effort

March, 2012

Nothing is hidden from you that you cannot see with your own eyes Our ceremonial innocence You know it when you see it Pushing the kettle too far

February, 2012

The tatpuruṣa obverse Against grit He does not know whether he is suited for finding out about them Ironical Dialing the phone like this

January, 2012

That inarticulate sense for actuality which is our ultimate safeguard against the aberrations of mere logic There’s trees in the desert since you moved out, and I don’t sleep on a bed of bones 28.6 million man-days—and growing! The iron law of austerity Up to now Tin and diamonds Three hundred fifteen million five hundred thirty-two thousand eight hundred seconds The tragic result of a need unmet We are all Cato the Elder now The sum of the opposition Obligatory buzz Bitch; virago; she-devil; hellcat; sex-kitten; nymphomaniac; vamp (Malicious, quarrelsome, and temperamental) Talent is theft On whether to fuck William Faulkner Process Things we weren’t saying over five years ago The harebrained utopian dreaming of

December, 2011

Years end in Kindles loading

September, 2011

Gramarye

August, 2011

Somnolescence

May, 2011

We are aware of all internet traditions Footnote Niche marketing With thanks to Liz Wallace Why do Americans still dislike atheists?

April, 2011

HOW IS BLURBBY FORMED The Pawlenty Inevitability Schmolitics I mean it’s not like I watch TV anymore or anything Then and back again My last political post

February, 2011

Lacuna Make a new plan, Stan Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right “Like the city state, the demagogue is peculiar to the Occident and especially to Mediterranean culture” Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven Centenary Cold clear water Stupidity The austerity exhibit Cui bono Testing elephants Something there is that doesn’t love a wall

January, 2011

This is what punk looks like The vision thing In Soviet criticism, terms come to you! Truth in Typesetting Department See, when you assume Worth kneeling-to Vive la différence Mission accomplished It’s all her fault! Overflowing Extispicy Leave Sarah alone! It’s not the inspiration, it’s the execution Few, and carefully considered, and he broadcasts them like a beacon in every weather You can add up the parts; you won’t have the sum yes he said yes he did Yes Woe. Mirth. Marriage. Birth. Christening. Dearth. Heaven. Hell. The Devil His Own Self Wer doin it worng Fuck a bunch a God Winter finds out what summer lays up This still isn’t about steampunk, dammit Testify The best of the web Anent the preceding Trapped – in a world he never made! Obversity

December, 2010

On a clear day you can see forever QFMFT So yeah, about that Patton Oswalt essay Ambit valent From winter to winter again Signs and portents Sacramento Morty’s Victorious Reason, season

November, 2010

Molester, pervert, disgusting, an embarrassment, creep I’m trying, honest, I am What we talk about when we talk about what we’re pointing to

September, 2010

Why SF doesn’t work any more Was I saying something?

August, 2010

Things we’ll have said we said tomorrow Elsewhere, otherwise Further up; further, in

July, 2010

The Great Work And I will spit on your grave

June, 2010

Things to keep in mind (The secret of courtesy) Ichorous, squamous, and rugose Dear universe What comes next

November, 2009

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this” Gloriosky “You can tell him by the liberties he takes with common sense, by his flashes of inspiration, and by the fact that sooner or later he brings up the Templars”

October, 2009

Little things

September, 2009

Important events, and important ideas What it says on the label Free jazz It’s not so hard to be politically correct. All you have to do is not be an asshole Magnificently shaggy The hairs of my chin bristle as I repeat it, silently I knew these things were complicated, but damn Plum Cochliomyia hominivorax delendum est

August, 2009

Sure thing Go, look, see Four minutes, sixteen seconds Always already I’ve written a screenplay, if you wouldn’t mind taking a look? Just walk it off down Highway 61 John C. Wright is recoiling in craven fear and trembling, and I don’t feel so good myself Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Bring it on Still doesn't pass the Bechdel Test Really a quite serious matter Because you aren’t funny! They fight Damn! They’ve sussed it out Sing into my mouth Antici—

July, 2009

I do not think that word means what you think it means Politics as she is spoke Upton’s rede

June, 2009

But the night <em>was</em> dark! <em>And</em> stormy! μῶμος The Bay 38 A whiff of Schrödinger Half-learning all the moves The 140 is no excuse The consonants and vowels; the consequence of sounds A question for the ages is answered If you ever wondered what it is I sound like Crap Was, is, and ever shall be On a clear day you can see the ambiguous heterotopia

May, 2009

Doughty theep T-shirts can be decorated with text and/or pictures, and are sometimes used to advertise The benefits of social media Scott McCloud, author of Zot! Understanding and the comic is one of the theorists of gender All is forgiven The increasing US and the decreasing THEM Cross-pollination Slouching toward Muhammad A delightfully odd couple PR H8ers A riddle The power of love Bushy-eyed and bright-tailed

March, 2009

Dear Rick Santelli

February, 2009

Lights out Dear Fred Hiatt Twisitor? Really? Added to the read-me pile Corn beer Re: the new Whedon Doughty theep Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life? Happy Presidents’ Day How delightfully heteronormative Tlön, Uqbar, Custodis Tertius L’Withnail, c’est les autres Sunday morning bang and whimper Goddamn, Abhay! Goddamn! Jupiter’s dropped Resolved On coins, on stamps, on the covers of books, on banners, on posters, and on the wrapping of a cigarette packet – everywhere Tell Tom Tildrum, Tim Toldrum’s dead “Okay then. I'll need three tomatoes, a size nine-and-a-half shoehorn, a bit of string, and a small wooden spoon” “What a senseless waste of human life” That plus twenty-six bits will get you a cup of coffee More, please Doughty theep Everything old is new again Nossir, don’t like it Else HENRY lemon CREAM Race fail 2009

January, 2009

“And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of ‘Alice’s Restaurant’ and walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement” Cordwainer Bush I can’t believe they missed the obvious snark A final complaint hello my name is thurber and this post is where i say goodbye ISO newspaper columnist The paradoxical genius of modern conservatism hello my name is thurber and this is an answer to a question Nigh unto brilliance Step Three! hello my name is thurber and this is a post about what i do not understand Is this thing on? One less mouth to feed is one less mouth to feed I suppose I understand the basic impulse, intellectually speaking, but damn Some versions of proprietary, persistent, large-scale popular fiction Elegant The essence thereof Sing, Muse, of the wrath of Althæaphage Form / Content (The nail replaced) A cold day in hell Brand new day Partisan hackery “One day someone greater than me shall come” We’re gonna make it after all Pith from the comments But on the back side it didn’t say nothing; That side was made for you and me Appropriative Recession Good riddance, you sonofabitch Jack-in-the-pulpit; onyx; yellow sapphire; Pantone® 14-0848 (mimosas!); Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn Other odds and ends “They’re all going to suck, people! They’re all going to suck!” I need the whip of the thunder, and the wind’s dark moan Who are you going to believe, me or your own lying language? Hyperbole (Yup, it’s a silverfish) Insecurites Newgle It’s a chick thing; thank you so much! It took its toll on all of us What Mads Gilbert said Nom-nom Unkinny Men are from Yang; Women are from Yang, too, just a different part Boatswain! Will no-one rid us of this truculent pundit? Say boots without shoes Otto’s rede Embarrassing 2.0 Descriptivate, don’t prescriptivate The crying of lot 48½ “If indeed mankind came to earth for a specific reason, it certainly wasn’t to enjoy ourselves” New frontiers in the passive voice “I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids” Our demon lover But only if we can point to it Mad, mad world Not so sharp as a serpent’s tooth, perhaps I don’t know

December, 2008

Actually, I <em>kinda</em> want to see it after that In Tsaija, five kilometers out from Sovetskaya Gavan It’s what you do, not who (you say) you know Taran plus five weeks and counting

October, 2008

It’s the little things, isn’t it. It’s always been the little things Stay toasty

September, 2008

Vanity thy name is Assume the position

August, 2008

Andy, are you goofing on Reagan? Proper Why I currently like Facebook to an arguably excessive degree Class warfare What do you jump after the shark? This is <em>your</em> fight Tags I’ve recently appreciated 27½ weeks out and counting

July, 2008

He’d rather fight than switch Quisquiliæ How the frat boys laughed! Almost every week they got to see something like that. It was a charmed life Let comics be comics There’s no real evidence for it, but it is scientific fact Hope is the new bleak Silk; linen; pearls My internet shrieks Two paths, a yellow wood: divergence! Always already

June, 2008

I do not think that word means what you think it means A nightmare from which etc. Swan, swan, hummingbird hurrah 20 weeks out and counting

May, 2008

Any sufficiently advanced art is indistinguishable from poetry Five million ways to kill a CEO Well. <em>That</em> was fun

April, 2008

They will come back—come back again, as long as the red Earth rolls. He never wasted a leaf or a tree. Why should He squander souls? Not a dream! Not a hoax! Not an imaginary story!

March, 2008

I fought the war, but the war won Der Tod und das Mädchen Say nothing Bittermuch Deep thought You’re going to reap just what you sow Spoiler

February, 2008

As falls Duckburg, so falls Duckburg Falls

January, 2008

“Very exciting—as a <em>luggage problem”</em> The shape where things have gone As clever as clever! “Never lose the ability to be offended” “Maybe we are on the cusp of a change?” People of quality “Now, later. They’re gonna do you” Electric boogaloo I don’t think Pitchfork would like it Y’all up on yo? You can feel the end even as we start Since we’re already on the subject of burning the Bronze Age to the ground How nice to find one’s blogging already done They’d enjoy eating, take pleasure in clothes, be happy with their houses, devoted to their customs Dammit, he’s a doctor, not an escalator Hope is not a plan That’s the way to do it! Hey! A new John Sayles film! This is what ecclesiacracy looks like And so into 2008

December, 2007

Years end in narcissmatics Fascists are people; Liberals are people; ∴ Liberals are fascists An alternative to that protest vote for Ron Paul IOKIYAR to infinity and beyond! Transmissible spongiform encephalopathies In which Jamie Lee Curtis says just about everything that needs to be said to Jonah Goldberg on the occasion of the publication of his very serious, thoughtful argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care Harsh, yes, but also unfair

November, 2007

Don’t shake out your dandruff and tell me it’s snowing, either Counterinsurgency Don’t hate on a—oh, who are we kidding All right, you’ve covered your ass now Treason

October, 2007

Oh, all right, one more Drive-by kulturklatsch Politics as she is spoke A humble request I know you are but what am I

September, 2007

The explanation you deserve And holding; and holding Then again Blessed is the peacemaker Hyperbole A sobering reminder of the scale of our enterprise The Reproof Valiant

August, 2007

You never forget your first The all-too-common tragedy of the foreseeable unforeseen Not sure how that happened

July, 2007

We the motherfucking people Commutation More on the behemoth Eight hours and 759 pages later A pier appears The power of names racing down tracks going faster, much faster I’m hurting cultchah! Margin of error Harry Potter and the Lost Light All models are wrong. Some are useful Hully gee Magical white boy The one true only Wait a minute Chin-chin Footnote to a prior conversation We only sing about it once in every twenty years Burned all my notebooks. What good are notebooks?

June, 2007

I’m pretty sure there’s a Mountain Goats song about this. I’m equally sure it doesn’t apply

May, 2007

All that is necessary for evil to triumph “I also happen to think she needs to eat a sandwich and cover up a bit” My lady-love’s a hypnonaut I am interested in your product or service, and I’d like to hear more Chivalry, being dead Bruises and roundhouses Cui bono? It’s the little things Evil is conquered and the blade’s work done That’s the difference between God and me The long creamy spill (and fall)

April, 2007

It depends on what the meaning of the word “is” is—along with “truth,” “Bush,” “administration,” “extraordinary,” “scandal,” “free,” “single,” “instance,” “corruption,” “unearthed,” “the,” “that,” and “of” O to be in Brooklyn in the Spring! No controlling authority All it takes is one bad apple Goose and gander? Defending the republic from the likes of Kimberly Prude “This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth” Two great hostile camps (The increasing us and the decreasing them) Three foggy mornings and one rainy day Forget evidence—is there a shred of dignity? Happy Delany Day That’s not what they mean by the Green Lantern Theory Hitchcock, dropping Jupiter God pity them both! and pity us all, who vainly the dreams of youth recall; for of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: “It might have been!”

March, 2007

This is Sparta Hole of darkness And this also has been one of the dark places of the earth Dirty fucking motorcycle cops SWM ISO DFK, GFE Count Bérubé’s passage over Piedmont Eat Poop You Cat! (Cricket Cricket Moneyduck) Unzeitgemässe betrachtungen Time to Frenzy “Supergirl could really use some Scott Pilgrim” Miss Aqua; Miss Aquia; Miss Aguia; D’Equi; “Doc” That’s one! One Galbraith! Ha ha ha! Empathy and usefulness (Innovative design solutions) Anatomy of a slur

February, 2007

“And as for you, well, you will always have a resort when you are at your wit’s end” Put down the poker and nobody gets hurt First Molly, now this

January, 2007

Wood and silverware. Cusp Woke up strange A nod from a lord is breakfast for a fool D’Souza’s corollary to Godwin’s law If “other” and “others” are before your eyes, then a mosque is no better than a Christian cloister; but when the garment of “other” is cast off by you, the cloister becomes a mosque “Sir, prove to me that you are not working with our enemies” Tipping their hand It’s true what they say ®udy! Is that a 75mm recoilless rifle on your Vespa, or are you happy to see me? The trick is how to find it One state, two state, red state, blue state Esoteric middlebrow. After the late, great unpleasantness Why you all so kip? Chillin’ with Frank & Ernest Scena Penultima Magisteria What we're fighting for (The Triumph of Faith over Works) “Vengeance is mine; I will repay,” saith the Lord I forget who asked, but in case it was you Hoppin’ John

December, 2006

Moral equivalency Five things Your January talking point In case you needed another reason to watch the final season of The Wire I blog. You blog. He, she, it blogs. We blog; you blog; they blog Defying gravity Calling all Chinese freebooters I'm the best there is at what I do. The trick is not to mind it "He would be as happy as anyone to be rid of these men. They frighten him as much as they frighten everyone else" No one, not even the rain Wolverines!

November, 2006

For Phantom Girl, Herbie the The Fat Fury, Angle Man, Cottonmouth, and the Woodgod? For Paste-Pot-Pete, the Inferior Five, the 3-D Man, and Squirrel Girl? Logan’s end-run Don’t let those Sunday afternoons Yeah. It’s a lot like that Oh, hell yes You’ve reached Logan Echolls, and here’s today’s inspirational message I’m sure I’ll find something to be disappointed about in the morning

October, 2006

Hedless conspiracy “until the white thread of dawn appear to you distinct from its black thread” Um

September, 2006

Cowards die a thousand deaths You cannot fully understand Colin Meloy’s art unless you know that he is white Catechism We wish to register a complaint The golden age of analog sci-fi Torture, working

August, 2006

“Self-correcting blogosphere,” my ass Location, location, location Appositional Yes. Yes, it is A note on framing, to our esteemed colleagues on the dextral side As you know, Bob An industrial seashell A thoroughly self-indulgent post Shorter How to Talk to a Conservative Shorter 2006 On my way to somewhere else No, wait, I’m sorry. It’s pretty much exactly the size of a walnut Waiting for Making Comics Nincsen rózsa tövis nélkül Suddenly, and for the first time in my life, I have been struck with an overwhelming urge to go to Burning Man What color is the sky? The grammar of ornament Miserable failure Are too Redemption’s tears and not in vain—for nothing idly weeps Adam and Eve on a raft Hacks of Mordegon When opportunity knocks your house down Teh best zine evar Personal appearance No shit, Sherlock Hie me to a comics shop! Crow is a dish best served cold Twa conversations Resolute

July, 2006

Groovy Words are mere sound and smoke, dimming the heavenly light This machine bugs liberals Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not Ah, youth, where is thy sting? Park that car. Drop that phone. Sleep on the floor. Dream about me Would you believe I’m still tinkering with the deltiolographs? A goddamned amusement park We do what we’re told Have you got anything without spam? The meme of innocence Kiss them for me Cui malo? Coffee Oh, right Participatory culture Send more cops! Send more paramedics! The first one’s always the hardest There’s still a kibosh on the man-hand jokes, though

June, 2006

A critical failure on my pop-culture roll Something I read that I liked Althæaphage The things you miss when you aren't paying attention Other than that, Madame de Pompadour, how did you enjoy the reign? Porch, with occasional rainbow Signs and wonders

May, 2006

Apparently, I’m waiting for something How terribly civil Monkeys and Wolves and termites, oh my! "...an awfully big adventure" okay lou here is what’s good Salad days It takes a nation of millions to hold us back Neither the first word nor the last on profanity, disputation, anger, and civility for bloggers Things you did not know you knew Or is it the other way round? Futurama Battlestar

April, 2006

Making people laugh is the lowest form of comedy What do Philip K. Dick, priestly ephebophilia, Knopf, and Gay Talese’s 50 pairs of hand-lasted shoes have in common? First, they win. Then we attack them. Then we laugh at them. Then we ignore them A twinkling merriment behind it all The problem with Manicheanism Oh, Paarfi A new broom sweeps clean Saucy ganders Don't mind me I know what you want; your magpies have come That woman Something to keep in mind (Jupiter drops) Just so you know Go, and do thou likewise Later than eleven, trying to make the earth into a heaven Jupiter drops (four) The thing we must not forget Exit strategery Jesus H. Christ in a jumped-up flaming sidecar going over a cliff with a drunken rebel yell And anyway, they’ve lied about every other goddamn thing they’ve ever done 34°4'48" N, 49°42'0" E Mutually assured destruction The man behind the scores for Howard the Duck and other films Dies Jovis A brief descent into gearheadery Jupiter drops (some further context) Shorter 2007 Emir el Bahr Jupiter dropping elsewhere Jupiter drops (three) Shorter 2006 Still a tool after all these years Aphorism Jupiter drops (two) And—scene! Jupiter drops (some context) Grandson of the Beast. Now that's airwolf Jupiter drops (one) Stupidity is a process, not a state And, being troubled with a raging tooth, I could not sleep Now all he needs is a posse

March, 2006

Say: Who hath forbidden the beautiful (gifts) of God, which He hath produced for His servants, and the things, clean and pure, (which He hath provided) for sustenance? I mean, I knew somebody’s daughter went to see her father and he killed her Yup. Still trying, Ringo They’re trying, Ringo. They’re trying, real hard, to be the shepherd Stupid fucking bigots Quis custodiet ipsos immane? Cheney shuns Electoral College requirement You can't die for the life of you It’s not just the size of a walnut Is it possible disdain should die while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signor Domenech? Before I forget again Going to Pine Ridge Terrence Malick has released two films in the time since you released your last one Feeding Dicebox Instead of the cross, the Albatross about his neck was hung I do think there is a tendency on the part of some on the left to criticize conservative politicians on the basis of their religious views The net treats censorship as yadda yadda badda-bing “Quite frankly, sir, the sooner the better.” Thou shalt put evil away from among you My, what a week it's been It figures that my current favorite song in all the world Bring him a penny, that he might see it Value-added blogging Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic Whiskey, tango, foxtrot Let's you and him fight What the world needs now Lady Day, Lady Time, and a Big Blue Ox Continuing our tour of other people’s comments Teleautograph Over the top In which Our Hero is once more forcibly reminded just how annoyed he can be by Spider Robinson The Rules for Hearts Der Familienvater The net treats power-mad gynophobic creeps as damage, and routes around them Bloody shirt talks tough, bloody shirt faces consequences

February, 2006

Hi rinktum inktum Lacuna What I invariably find myself snapping at the emotionally reticent, self-effacingly chivalric protagonists of the best SF novels of the year, on or about page 101 I bet you wish you had Do not fuck South Dakota I've won hundreds at the track, but I'm not betting on the afterlife Live through this, and you won't look back You know it’s Friday when you wake up and it’s another Friday entirely and then you wait until it’s almost Saturday as it is Where we are; what we've become By the semi-nutty Stalinist line of discipline coursing through the fever-swamps of our national discourse A mighty princess, forged in the heat of housework Just checking Of course she would look good in a suit Exit, pursued by a bear In 1649, to St. George's Hill Someone's trying to tell me something The tragedy of monied bullies and criminal gatekeepers screwing the rest of us for the sake of a greasy buck Bad Soldier Apuzzo The net treats censorship as damage and routes around it werewolves and dragons and mandrakes and unicorns and mermaids and Hyperborean amber and the gigantic birds encountered by Sindbad the Sailor and the funeral pyre of the Phoenix and quick-frozen mammoths and shrunken heads and Even if you are not a bear, or have no interest in invading Sicily Christ, what an asshole The son of the shirt Enter Sandman Was this review helpful to you? Do as I say, don't do as I do

January, 2006

This isn't a joke. We are the domestic anti-terrorism task force One of us; one of us The Gang of 25 Further technical notes Project much? Look around you, all you see are sympathetic eyes This is what they have made of us. This is what we have become Point, meet counterpoint Our liberal media at work An article of pinnacle stupidity A public service announcement “Not comfortable” his power will be broken, the panoply of his office scattered, his house razed Shorter 2006 This woman's word Well aren't we peppy today A fitter and generally a more effectual punishment Lay down the mony upon the nail, and the business is done Strike me pink! It comes; it goes Give it up for the last honest libertarian Still a uniter, not a divider Don't waste good iron for nails, or good men for soldiers Now that I'm up with 2.12 Why does America hate America? Ceci n'est pas une prom dress It takes a heap of licks to strike a nail in the dark Shorter 2006 Momus scores a twofer The anvil lasts longer than the hammer Pieces of what, exactly? Malleability The third, of course, will be a direct-to-iPod release in early 2009 Yanking cranks Heh. Indeed Technical note Resolver If I had a hammer, I'd do something about all these goddamn nails All my sons and daughters God, grant me the Serenity iTunes is moody this morning Powerline breaks the Daou Cycle!

December, 2005

Blame the Feministe Core competencies Hup

March, 2005

Placeholding To Robbie Conal, on the publication of your profile of Portland's own Mercury Studios Where there's soot-stained, coughing firefighters, there's usually a fire Two roads diverged in a wood, and I Shame “16 Military Wives” And I did not speak up, because I was not Tina Fey Upon hearing once more the serial bangs and muffled thuds of our crack circular firing squad, the words of – I believe it was Kissinger? – are called to mind Bumrush the MSM You are getting agitated again Babykillers o.H.M.y Alas! Old skool Eisners, and a drunken eagle Pretty good The long and the short of it Those who forget are doomed Your spasm of activism Koan Up is down; black is white; y'all is fucked Like a seed dropped by a seabird And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day “My fellow Americans. I’m pleased to tell you today that I’ve signed legislation that will outlaw Iran forever. We begin bombing in three months” Off. Off. Off. Off. Off Homonemia; riverbeds; going up My song is love unknown Why (those currently in charge of the) Republicans are evil

February, 2005

Unheimlichsenke When standards are outlawed, only outlaws will have standards Tooting my own horn Next year, in Glocca Morra Pitchforking The fulness of time Now you’re just fuckin’ with me You do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around Boy, that's a lot of moms Could be belongs to us While I’m making pithy posts Dog bites man And it came to pass A modest proposal Your first lesson in leaping with a laughing heart Hellblazer, not Constantinople Liberty is what I mean when I point to it But are not limited to By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself Prolixity “It's an amazing media error, a huge blunder. I'm sure the Bush administration is thrilled by this spin” I do so hate this sour mood of mine Yes, it is embarrassing when Stern Daddy gets all in yo' face muthafuckah like he's cool or something

January, 2005

You are the generation that bought more shoes and you get what you deserve Fighting evil Because it is better to light a candle Sponge 1, kulturkampf 0 Extremism in defense of what, exactly? In which I take the words of an old friend woefully out of context Let's say amen together Sticky eyeballs Leather Out of curiosity The Book, the Book, the Book is on fire! Comic-page illustrator? Pissing in the wind The enemy is life 0wnzorship society No matter where you go

December, 2004

The year in review thirteen billion dollars : thirty million dollars :: political capital : ? The ultimate argument against privatization What goes through your mind An ill wind A cheap monkeywrench is thrill enough This ahistorical dreamlike landscape where action is situated And just what the hell is up with all that coal in Newcastle, huh? An atheist, a feminist, and a rabbi walk into a bildungsroman Ladies and gentlemen Things to remember

November, 2004

Once more, Patrick Nielsen Hayden saves the day Canary watch And when we say everything changed For some value of “our” The state of the industry Atlas leans back everywhere The war of us and them Quis tulerit Gracchos de seditone querentes? One thing after another Panem et circenses Looking for Mr. Finch Watchmaker, watchmaker, make me a watch Nails Added bonus Whipsaw I hope we're all ready to leave the phenomenal world, and enter into the sublime Premature, perhaps, but

October, 2004

Hope dies last Winning friends; influencing people November criminals Magician and Superman The company kept Isn't it nice we're all in on the joke Oh, right, I have this blog

September, 2004

Whoa Let's not muddle this with nuance Vinegar and honey If this were a joke, I'd laugh, if it were funny Which side are you on? “the first time as satire, the second as product launch” Splitter Give me but one firm spot on which to stand Where were they then? Hearts & minds (The Man in Black) Platitudinum Hearts & minds Words Bushgate M Further up, further out The mood I'm in

August, 2004

His life with the ghosts of Bush Forget 15%; try 90% Your blind item for the day Portland is a small town, except when it isn’t. Dispatches from the War on Common Sense On the other hand Every single one a youse can just go straight to hell Hot or Nazi? Doubleplus sprezzatura ¡Viva Dirk Deppey! How you can tell our media isn’t “liberal” (#7,536,062 in an ongoing series) How do you do. Welcome to the human race. You're a mess Satire closed on Saturday night Elevenses Just who the hell is on monitor duty around here? The important thing is, I beat them by about two hours Gabba gabba hey (Vootie!)

July, 2004

And this, this I don't say often enough I'm working on it Der Tod und das Mädchen And so we return and begin again Now that we're all enthused Men are from Mars; women are from Mars, too, just a different part Together again for the first time Why, yes. I would jump off a bridge just like everybody else Avast Smoke; mirrors Biff, pow, yadda yadda Go! Look! See! Defending marriage All this and ego, too! Revolver (six) Some context IOKIYAR

June, 2004

Piece out Oh, hell, one more political squib won't hurt Forward, ho! Ding, dong, the – well, a – okay, one of many wicked witches is dead Seduction of the innocent Related words But what I really want to do is direct 20 January 1988 Some unsolicited advice Don’t you mean mittelterrestrial? Signs and wonders ?? whats iicf? Revolver (four, revisited) Customers interested in Flight may also be interested in Point; counterpoint A cavalcade of comics coverage! What color are the dolphins in her world? Revolver (five) “...it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long...” James Howard's Romeo and Juliet (Revolver, an intermission) Oh, one more goddamn thing The theme of short and pithy posts shows no signs of abating For your consideration Something I didn't necessarily need to know Revolver (four) Revolver (three) Pumpkinry Revolver (one, an addendum) Heh. Indeed Revolver (two) Revolver (one)

May, 2004

Guess that whole hobbit thing has run its course Civilization gap Two pictures A falling blossom returns to branch: a butterfly Zero to sixty and climbing Definition: incompetence These pictures will not be the last ones of this sort that will see the light of day Tools DESTROY!! The triumph of William Jennings Bryan Roz Kaveney knew Christopher Hitchens. And you, sir Brownsark Rules of order A few basic precautions Crying in the Wind, by Harold Applebaum My mind is aglow with whirling transient nodes of thought, careening through a cosmic vapor of invention Mollified, and yet MT 3.0 What part of “no” do they not understand? a half dozen of the other Maybe you had to be there? You are what you've eaten Me am teh best EVAR! LOL Rage. Context No one truly sensitive can hurt another human being Comics, juxtaposed The third way Urban remedies We am a camera New frontiers in comment spam One stupid move, two stupid move I wish I believed in Hell 'Well, I'm back,' he said

April, 2004

This is what pro-life looks like By way of an apology Federal Comstock Commission Thin blue race Synchrondipity Bowdler old skool I loves me some Spinooti In which, out of a desire to leap aboard a train after it has left the station, I cite the Gospel According to Mark Negative space (Why I don't trust æsthetes) In other comics news Don't dream it, be it “Not even the sun will transgress his orbit but the Erinyes, the ministers of justice, overtake him” Fix me another one a them baloney sandwiches Take that, Massachusetts Would the last one out turn off the lights? We are all Frank Grimes now You think I’m not serious? Memery index Thoughtfully, he sipped the hot, bitter liquid A complaint 300 pieces of a certain length, loosely joined Oh, God, I need a drink Braiding Is our pundits learning? Here when I passed the night on the slope of volcano during the eruption, here this was terribly! It is terribly gay and it is beautiful! The banality of outrage Memery Power to the people! Teeth for shrimp! Plato was a fascist! Your assignment Early November we got back the blague None of us is as dumb as all of us Oh, that wacky Shadout Mapes! Altogether elsewhere Perspective No, the Islets of Bloggerhans Popular Front! © April punk'd Facetiæ under contract of the King If, if they take his stapler, he will, he will set this building on fire

March, 2004

The pros from Dover We are all oblique leftists now Toast Eating crosswalk Another memo I didn't get Paging Michael Graham To do Oh, thank God 300 Pullet Surprise Sketching Something I never thought I'd ever actually, you know, say You've been to a marvelous party There once was a sleigh from Nantucket We are so fucked some more We are so fucked Three simple rules for talking about comics Is it safe? Cocks crowing; dogs barking How to destroy P2P Chestnut Another data point in the wall Noted without comment South Park Agonistes This is what marriage looks like Juping the Man Sweet luvvin' update Our gay weddings, cont'd Not quite cricket Those Bush ads You break it, you bought it You best believe I mean love l-u-v Gimme that sky back, you gao yang zhong de gu yang! Let no one put asunder Sexing the pronoun Peletaa kuullaah da-Qraabay Kawkbey

February, 2004

Auget largiendo Canadian television The mind, reeling Further, not-so-meaningless internet-related activities The devil's ice skates Meaningless internet-poll–related activities Cookies (and bourbon) Political action Bringing it on Mars (Mappa Mundi, the vague direction thereof) APE Mars (Misunderstanding) Bells and whistles How fast? Diagrammanomicon What the hell is this, a threat?

January, 2004

A creation myth Woo-hoo! On magic All I have to say is, once this is over, the Iraqi people better be the freest fucking people on the face of the earth. They better be freer than me. They better be so fucking free they can fly Gung-ho It took all night to complete the rigging, securing the steel cable a quarter of a mile in the sky across the 130-foot gap separating the towers Not really back just yet, but

December, 2003

Might as well make it official I’m a moirologist, not a miracle worker. Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego walk into a bar The irony I did not need Vote early. Vote often The only car in Venice Now why didn’t I think of that before? Happy anniversary The life you save could be your own Unelectable Angels What happened, you mooks

November, 2003

Reflexive decency The Devil, quoting Scripture The incredibly strange referrers who stopped living and became mixed-up zombie-blogs I have no response to that The word of the day It keeps getting vaster every time I see it Dennis Miller: Tax and spend liberal! So we finally got around to seeing Gladiator Stable’s gettin’ kinda full, ain’t it? Our new interviewing technique is unstoppable Balls out Smoking guns at Sylvia Beach

October, 2003

No, I’m Atrios! Climbing up and climbing down Shipbreaking Bring me the head of Grover Norquist Snarking at Lars Von Trier aside Another letter to President Hoover A letter to President Hoover I’m sorry, could you repeat that? Londoner stopcocks; shoehorn pieces Or perhaps one would prefer Elevator pitch Hosing down the pier Howl But what have they done for us lately? Sweet Home Chicago Ouch J. Bradford DeLong = minor god Know what you know you don’t know Doctor who? Keeping the bad people away from the good people Successoratin’ Stan!

September, 2003

Contractual obligation post Doing my bit to hike those productivity numbers Ne raillons pas les fous; leur folie dure plus longtemps que la nôtre… Voilà toute la differénce Simple questions, simply answered Sputtering, frothing rage Couldthisbereal.com? A riot of manliness Tanner, rested, ready Team Micropayments! Thank you, Professor Krugman Information wants to be free, fine—but art isn’t information More than a clue Looking deep within Cakewalkmongering He thinks he’s won Sweet Home Alabama Mistah Zevon, he sleepin’ tight Other oracles Where the hammer meets the nail Rising again (Magenta) pants optional Things to remember Under pressure Moral equivalency Gloss!

August, 2003

President Firebug? Ubu Roy Early morning doubletake No man that warreth entangleth himself with the affairs of this life; that he may please him who hath chosen him to be a soldier Looking forward to collecting what would be recollected later. Live from Little Beirut I (sometimes) write like a girl! (Shameless self-promotion) Democracy in action Plus c’est la meme chose How I got to be where I am at the moment If this be Treason PROM-1 (AP bounding fragmentation mine, steel casing, former Yugoslavia) Bandwaggonry. Light synthesis Eschaton immanentize! Ladies and gentlemen, your attention please The fight my dog is in Shibboleths In your face, Fred Barnes And yet, I’m still not thrilled at the idea of President Dean Why I am in the mood I am in (Tin-foil hats for the sophistimacated) The mindset in question

July, 2003

The Further Adventures of Chickenhawk: Into the Kulturkampf! Essay question Help wanted A night at the movies A chatroom of their own My God, it’s full of And the whole dern thing has been condemned by ’Merican Express Gresham’s Law in action Shut up shut up shut up! Oh, ye’ll take the high road, and I’ll take the low road, and I’ll hit Perdition afore ye… So I’m more or less back It’s a spy plane! It’s a rock band! Morning becomes eclectic Heaping coals of fire on his head “ - just one sentence - ” Last call for Chuck Taylors, ladies and gentlemen; last call This dog, on the other hand, will hunt We are all pirates now The envelope, please That shaggy dog won’t hunt Bang! Zowie! Comics aren’t just for kids anymore! Byatt’s Kool-Aid® Falling on his sword for chickens? Chickens? Yellowgate The right number Why Jess Lemon doesn’t read comics Mendacity Taking the mile George Washington slapped her Stephen Hunter tempts fate, as it were Something to keep in mind

June, 2003

Our marriage does not need defending The not-entirely-safe-for-work players present: It depends on what the meaning of “blog” is This one’s for Sacchi del Amy The verie best, and swetest liquor Sparklypoo Why you don’t read comics Why I love the Antic Muse Like she needs my traffic If this be treason— The road to hell runs through the Arkansas legislature Beginning at home And you will know me by the peals of laughter A statutory blunderbuss that mandates this vast amount of overblocking abridges the freedom of speech protected by the First Amendment Party like it’s 1998 Rinsing certain tastes out of my mouth Treason Morons Nixon, when in China Fluff Apparently, they serve cake Tomato, tomahtoe Currently showing on fine liberal refrigerators everywhere An open letter to Figg Vanderhyde, among others I have no response to that Ask yourself what democracy was like No, I Claudius Take the first left after Venus, you can’t miss it 33 vases 33 A long drink of water Portrait of the cartoonist as a young woman In just over a month Tuppence Rosencrantz and Guildenstern walk into a bar Thirteen thousand in your name Laura Ashley is definitely back… She’s back, and this time it’s personal. See, they mated her with the Home Depot guy, and that’s where you get Martha Stewart Film at elevenses Scott McCloud is right! Updates, faxblasts, petitions, that sort of thing If you read one book review this season 78 luftballoons 40 hours and a mule Did you know À la recherche du temps perdu So small and flat The samizdata fuck-off

May, 2003

Let’s you and him fight Well, I don’t think it’ll all fit on one page The final Buffy Dicebox We’re back Quirks Speaking truth from power Further evidence of the decline of values we hold in common (Cato was right) Nutshellery The abyss, gazing also Crunchysmoothdigitalanalog y? -ie? Or shall we call the whole thing off? Mind the gap Where you been? Out. Whatcha been doin’? Nothing Since I seem to be in a short and pithy mood It’s probably the booze IMHO ;-} Happy M’aidez

April, 2003

The case for Appalachia O, eldritch Godwin! Eat the economic interests Talk amongst yourselves They say, everything could be replaced This is what a material witness looks like Twisty. Little. Different Ground zero Radio Free Portland Never attribute to malice Rolling back the years The thing of it is, we could have been spending it on books all along Nyekultyurni Fighting evil, take two Why, yes. There were that many vases, and more besides Smiling because what else is there to do The estrane When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall Laughing at Mister Phelps Which way will the stone age vote swing? Flexible fetishry Whuffie cap Ax(e)minster and other inconsequentialities No means no; separation means separation; uniter means not dividing; this means war A half-satisfied cat being better than none Your First Amendment in action Another bitter laugh Remember, kids, dissent is wrong Mission creep Remissal Has been constitutive of Operation Zipless Cakewalk Bandwagons of April fish

March, 2003

Alienated and seditious Yes. Cats The dot-com war Sweating the small stuff Keeping it simple Anecdotal A plague on this House, at any rate SB 742 Dream is dead More than a thousand words The show abides The dark time was roasted by hailstones and flames. The bright time was wiped out by a shadow. The grownups are (still) in the house All I have to say is, once this is over, the Iraqi people better be the freest fucking people on the face of the earth. They better be freer than me. They better be so fucking free they can fly Cry havoc and let slip the jackals of war The rules of engagement Moral dilemma Burn this Ac-cent-tchu-ate the contradictions Gobsmacked. William Shatnered What if they gave a peace and everybody came? Sometimes, though, you just can’t resist that pellet Something there is that does not love a wall What are you protesting? -Whaddaya got? Anyone here from Minnesota? How about Arkansas? River of shit And you thought “freedom kissing” was a joke Habeas pueruli Bush! Klaatu barada nikto All di tings wey dem talk about di rights, wey human beings suppose to get, na im de for this small book Pardessus anglais Pardon my French Bring on the wild dogs Right back inna jungle. On account of the breakdown of ethics. Happy Easter However could I have forgotten the Generating Stabilizing Electro Carbon Condensating Atmospheric Pro-Cyclonic Compact Dynamic Magnet Box? WYPSIDYOPINEPOL USA Kelly J. Cooper knows the score I will live at home unbulled Oulipo, oubapo, OuLiPo, OuBaPo, let’s call the whole thing off Bring it, you ill-tempered, foul-mouthed Father-Coughlin-wannabe who’s so fucking pathetic you have to get your creepy-ass deep-pocket think-tank buddies to bulk-buy your book up the bestseller lists

February, 2003

Tender is the mouth This is getting embarrassing Post no bills On a clear day you can see forever Can we just cut the fucking ironic humor and ask a simple question? Word to the breakaround, y’all No blood for duct tape Cookie break t.A.T.u. en passant Burlesque Pictures, pretty pictures, and statistics What he said And now for some necessary comic relief It’s not the idle hands that worry me The dearth of outrage National Condom Week—14 – 21 February The road goes ever on and on Obsolescence That pleasure taken in watching a bladesmith at work (Snicker-snack) Given the source Speechful Speechless A footstone Transparency Politically? Ashcroft + tar + feathers Eisenhower + bags + rice Projection Would you like to super-size that? Be thou an honest pro-war cartoon? Filibuster baby Romans 12:20

January, 2003

There but for the grace of God Jackdowry A bit of whimsy, with coffee Pith and pathos Twenty-first century schizoid man Hell Irony’s failing, Captain. Satire’s offline It rather speaks for itself, don’t it? Over there Mixed messages (The incoherent text) Our liberal media at work Interesting High road, low road Stella David Chess gave me a word Herald Square won’t need any help There they go again Dittochamber This; that; a little of the other Bold Billions of dollars in Big Content profits saved by courageous Supreme Court; Sonny Bono’s legacy is secure The terrorists have already—oh, never mind Oh, and by the way How many times do we have to say no? Now lemme hear an amen from the choir! Better than bombs, yes, but One down (again) Further fall-out from miscellaneous internet research •––• •••–• ••••– Kittenhawking If you’re going to be a fucking pedant The perfect murder Boom and Bust Tomorrow belongs to The handle, and flying off thereof The other 157,999 Federal judgeships aren’t consolation prizes for a few years of decent behavior Behind the scenes Have you seen this ancient geegaw? It’s all starting to come together Synonyms: accessory, accomplice, affiliate, ally, auxiliary, branch, buddy, chum, clubber, co-operator, cohort, collaborator, compatriot, comrade, confederate, consort, fellow, mate, offshoot, pal, partner, peer, playmate, sidekick Denying whuffie États Rouges, 2050 Too much woman (for a hen-pecked man) Rule No. 1 She was so a lap dog Going to the Show Further reason for Derbyshire & Co. to despair A taste of things to come (A cheap shot) An American institution that deserves to be honored And yet, the dog still hunts My God, the hair

December, 2002

Roots Ludafisk Currently appearing elsewhere What I have in common with Dylan Meconis Bookmark this Boxing Day Apparently, pregnancy is a fact of life these days Because I’m still feeling ill and not up to any sort of heavy lifting and anyway the piece on webcomics isn’t quite done yet (and honest, Brett, I’m working on it) – but anyway, for now, another trifle It’s a good reading, Charlie Brown Chickenhawks of the kulturkampf Straw; camel’s back— Good news. Hug your local librarian. Neimöller time. An interesting wrinkle,<br /> <em>or,</em> Again with the posse. Round up a posse and head ’em off at the pass. Fort Disconnect. Goddam. Are you feeling lucky, ducky? You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, Happy Christmas your arse, I pray God it’s our last! Rude, crude, and dangerous to know. The game of us and them. Let X = the number of Music Products purchased at full price between 1995 and 2000— An apology— Because you might need a giggle as much as I do. Now none of youse has any excuse. So much for space cowboys. Why shouldn’t we talk to ourselves Let’s open with a joke. Satire comes on little cat feet— The rumors of Satire’s death are greatly exaggerated— Satire is where you find it— The people beg to differ. There he goes again for the very first time. Kid detectives. Also, how magic works. (Really.) Good luck with your Fourierism. A snapshot of a time and place. For the record, then. Cue Nelson-esque “Haw-haw.” moneylenders : temple :: scoundrels : ? Spitting in his coffee. Cold hands, and a winterscape. London and France and Bruno’s underpants. A distracting thought, occasioned by having caught a repeat of first-season <em>Xena</em> on Oxygen earlier in the evening; also, an amusing <em>Buffy</em> link that involves calculus and matrix theory, courtesy the fine folks at Whedonesque.com. Taking a bullet. Sousveillance redux. The word for today is: Here's your handbasket, what's your hurry? The truth is out there.

November, 2002

Two pennies for Potter Better late than never. Desperately seeking perspective. Accolades, and a chance to join forces with Bob Barr; also, something of a mission statement. To the barricades, lucky duckies! Now that's Homeland Security. Hypocrisy. The fruits of Serendip. There are two kinds of books in this world. Pardon my dust.

August, 2002

24 hours and 11 years.

July, 2002

When you least expect it. It's true. He do read wierd stuff. Whoa.

June, 2002

Delightful things. If you’re visiting from Bruno— Scholar; gentleman; scoundrel; cad. Parades and cigarettes. Paging Laura Miller.

May, 2002

A little thing, really—

April, 2002

That quality of being cheesy (suspicions confirmed). Seeing doppel. An attempt at sketching in prose what goes through my mind when Robyn Hitchcock begins to ramble in that engagingly undrunken monotone about the Isle of Wight before starting to contort a guitar in his own unmistakable, beautifully ugly idiom. A thought. The power of the internet. Just once.

March, 2002

The Mouse Police must never sleep This time, it's personal. Couldn't happen to a nicer Painter of Light. Slaysome. An amusing factoid about yours truly.

February, 2002

The pause that— Currently. Which side are you on? Ghosts Choice demographic Some credibility issues Boutique cynicism A hodge-podge of mind-crossing thoughts Döppelganger The thing about “Kip” So I've just got one question Epiphanic mathomry So it's been slow

January, 2002

Bandwagons of outrage Elephant dung, not cow dung More glaze for your eyes Camryn Manheim Yes, the movie was disappointing. But this? The shah always falls Why, yes. It is brand new. How nice you noticed It was never about the coffee Assume, for a moment, that I want to fling a haggis across a Canadian river