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Where there’s soot-stained, coughing firefighters, there’s usually a fire...

Republicans! Conservatives! If yours is truly the best of all possible ways, closest to the American soul, favored by security moms and securities dads alike across our fruited plains, destined to eclipse us outmoded liberals and rule with a firm but benevolent hand all the rest of our days, then why on earth do you find yourselves lying and cheating and stealing whenever a ballot box is involved?

And then: cue the useful idiots. God, but it’s a wonder we can get anything done around here at all.

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