Falling on his sword for chickens? Chickens?
Well, PETA says he did, KFC says no, it’s just going with a new creative, and Jason Alexander’s people aren’t saying much of anything at all, which PETA insists is a classic non-denial denial. The facts, such as they are: Jason Alexander (you know, George) was the spokesmodel for a rather successful two-year KFC ad campaign. Back in May, it looked like he was going to be picked up for six more months of commercials: “It’s basically done,” said his lawyer, “not literally signed, but it’s done. Additional terms were built in and I fully anticipate going the distance.”
Then PETA threatened to boycott Alexander’s run in The Producers in LA unless he met with them. He agreed; they showed him hidden-camera videos of the appalling conditions under which chickens are farmed in this country; troubled, Alexander helped broker a meeting between PETA and KFC. (PETA’s threat to run the video on a couple of big-screen TVs on a truck and drive it through the suburban Louisville neighborhood where a couple of KFC executives live might also have played a part in those negotiations.)
The upshot: KFC has adopted a new set of humane® guidelines for farming chickens (which have nothing to do with this)—which KFC insists were in the works all along; PETA’s pressure, they say, played no part in the decision (a standard statement released in these sorts of circumstances). PETA insists KFC is lying about its record, and says it will take “all available options to stop them from deceiving people about the horrible abuse of animals they are supporting”; PETA is also claiming Jason Alexander as a chicken martyr. And Alexander is out of his “basically done” deal, and not saying much of anything at all.
—Via The Morning News: a fine, fine thing to browse over your first cup of coffee.
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I want some motherfucking chicken!
I want to see Jason Alexander go naked rather than eat chicken !!! I mean, isn't that supposed to be a PETA-celeb Rite of Passage, according to Fuckwit-In-Chief Ingrid Newkirk ? Oh, wait. That's only for giiiiirl celebs !!! What was I THINKING ?!?! Too bad, I was looking forward to watching the ceremonial full-body depillation/waxing on Fox. Not to mention seeing the full-page ad in next month's *Maxim*. :p Dang. :p :p
So, Amy: I take it you have a problem with the idea of using some of the master&38217;s tools to knock down a wing of the master&38217;s house.
Let's just say I'd like the "tools" and their masters to be exposed to a tad more de-tumescenting (is that a word ?) body fat, body hair, varicose veins, and general "ugliness" from time to time, Buddy. Honestly, I want to fly into a feminist rage in the best *Bitch* fashion every time Newkirk opens her nasty, moronic yap or sends another freakish pin-up to our brave vegetarian killers in uniform, but I just can't. Because every time I try, I think about an organization that thinks nothing of going on and on and on about the grisly horrors inside a slaughterhouse being led by a woman who inists that its barbaric, rude and just plain icky for females not to shave their pubes, and I just want to fall over laughing. I can't help it.
Peanut-flavored tempeh, sweetie ? I ran over to *Taste Of Bali* just for you. ;)